Self-control, perseverance, integrity, indomitable spirit--that's what it's supposed to be all about at the Concord Tae Kwon Do Studio, where boys are turned into black-belts and suburbanites are chiseled into great warriors, all under the watchful tutelage of proud sensei Fred Simmons. That is, until Fred discovers his wife has been unfaithful and instantly descends into a blubbering mess. OK, so maybe Fred is far more blowhard than kick-ass hero. But, when he sets out on a last-ditch quest to meet his kung-fu idol--the eight-time undefeated champ and star of the "Seven Rings of Pain" trilogy, Chuck "The Truck" Wallace--Fred winds up on a wild, comic journey that will take him from egomaniacal bluster all to the way to becoming the stand-up man of his delusional dreams.